Oh That Harmonica!

"Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas, Uncle Max! It's the best Christmas present I ever got. It's making me a lot of money."

"Hey, that's great! You must play it very well."

"Not really."

"So how do you make money with it?"

"Mom pays me a dollar to not play it during the day and my dad gives me a dollar to not play it at night."

Excuses for Missing Work

"I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?"


"I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet ..."


"I'm stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant."


"Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and,hey, how 'bout them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling."


"I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information."


"The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet."


"I prefer to remain an enigma."


"I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation."


"I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian."


"I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates."


"I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share."


"I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead."


"I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power sources of exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled-up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late ... or early."

Any Brass Lawyers?

A guy is walking down the street when he passes a smallshop. In the window of the shop is a beautiful brass statue of a rat. The guy is so taken with the statue that he just has to have it. He walks inand says to the shopkeeper, "That brass rat in the window. How much is it?"

The shopkeeper replies rudely, "Sorry. Not for sale."

Not to be turned away, the guy insists, "Listen, I've got tohave that brass rat. Money is no object."

After many pleas, the shopkeeper agrees to sell the rat for a very high price. As he's wrapping the rat in a brown paper bag, he says with an ominous tone to his voice, "One thing: you can't return this, no matter what!"

"Agreed."

The guy takes off down the street with his new purchase. Before too long, he hears the sound of tiny little footsteps behind, following him. He turns and looks and there are about two dozen rats. He picks up his pace but the footsteps get louder. A few minutes later there are at least a hundred rats. Now the guy is on a dead run and there are more and more rats chasing him.

Finally, he comes to the river. In desperation he hurls the package into the water. Amazingly, the rats all follow the statue, run into the river and drown.

The guy goes back to the shop. Seeing him, the shopkeeper locks the door and draws the shade. The guy knocks on the door. No response. He knocks louder. He yells for the shopkeeper. After quite some time, he hears a voice from inside, "I told you ... you can't return it, no matter *WHAT*!"

Through the closed door the guy yells back, "No, no. I don't want to return it. I just want to know if you have any brass lawyers!!"

Every heard of a gyrochrome?

What is a gyrochrome?

It is defined as:

A nerve cell in which the stainable substance occurs in rings.

So now you know.

Improving My Golf

I've been playing golf for years, and believe me I have the finest equipment available, but my scores have never improved at all.


One day I asked a friend to watch as I played to see if he could detect something I'm doing wrong. I teed up at the first hole and promptly hooked a brand new ball into the woods. On the second hole, I drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, I lost hooked a new ball into more woods.


My friend said, "I can't tell what's wrong with your swing, but Why don't you at least use an old ball?"


"I've never had an old ball."

Politically Correct Kid Stuff

Kids, here's how to be politally correct:


Your bedroom isn't cluttered;
it's "PASSAGE-RESTRICTIVE."


Kids don't get in trouble anymore.
They merely "HIT SOCIAL SPEED BUMPS."


You're not having a bad hair day;
You're suffering from "REBELLIOUS FOLLICLE SYNDROME."


No one's tall anymore.
They're "VERTICALLY ENHANCED."


You're not shy.
You're "CONVERSATIONALLY SELECTIVE."


You don't talk a lot.
You're "ABUNDANTLY VERBAL."


It's not called gossip any more.
It's "TRANSMISSION OF NEAR-FACTUAL INFORMATION."


The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful.
It's "DIGESTIVELY CHALLENGED."


Your homework isn't missing;
it's just having an "OUT-OF-NOTEBOOK EXPERIENCE."


You're not sleeping in class;
you're "RATIONING CONSCIOUSNESS."


You don't have smelly gym socks;
you have "ODOR-RETENTIVE ATHLETIC FOOTWEAR."


You weren't passing notes in class.
You were "PARTICIPATING IN THE DISCREET EXCHANGE OF PENNED MEDITATIONS."


You're not being sent to the principal's office.
You're "GOING ON A MANDATORY FIELD TRIP TO THE ADMINISTRATIVE BUILDING."

Adam and Eve

Adam bit the apple and, feeling great shame, covered himself with a fig leaf.

Eve, too, felt shame and covered herself with a fig leaf.

Then she went behind the bush to try on a maple leaf, a sycamore, an oak ...

Grand Canyon National Park Trivia

How big is the Grand Canyon National Park?
It encompasses 1,218,375 acres and lies on the Colorado Plateau in northwestern Arizona. The Canyon, incised by the Colorado River, is immense, averaging 4,000 feet deep for its entire 277 miles. It is 6,000 feet deep at its deepest point and 15 miles at its widest.


Landscape of the Grand Canyon National Park: Typical of the southwestern US, the land is semi-arid and consists of raised plateaus and structural basins. Numerous steep-walled canyons are made by drainage systems that have cut deeply through the rock. Lower elevations are a series of desert basins, while at higher elevations there are forests.

The Grand Canyon is one of the most studied geologic landscapes in the world with an excellent record of three of the four eras of geological time, a diverse and rich fossil record, a vast array of geologic features and rock types, and numerous caves containing extensive and significant geological, paleontological, archeological and biological resources. It is considered one of the finest examples of arid-land erosion in the world.


Ecosystems of the Grand Canyon National Park: The park has a great biological diversity that can be attributed to the presence of five of the seven life zones and three of the four desert types in North America.

The five life zones represented are:

• Lower Sonoran,
• Upper Sonoran,
• Transition,
• Canadian, and
• Hudsonian.

This is like you traveled from Canada to Mexico.

Ecological Refuge: The Grand Canyon National Park has relatively undisturbed remnants of dwindling ecosystems (such as boreal forest and desert riparian communities). Not only that, it is home to numerous rare, endemic (found only at Grand Canyon), and specially protected (threatened/endangered) plant and animal species.

Over 1,500 plant, 355 bird, 89 mammalian, 47 reptile, 17 fish, and 9 amphibian species are found in the park.

(For trivia on other subjects, visit JokesAndTrivia.com )

What Doctors Really Mean

What Doctors Say, and What They Really Mean


"This should be taken care of right away."
Really Means
"I'm going to Hawaii next month, but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."


"Wellll, what do we have here...?"
Really Means
"I have no idea what's wrong with you and I'm hoping you'll give me a clue."


"Let me check your medical history."
Really Means
"I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time on this.


"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."
Really Means
"I'm playing golf this afternoon"
-- OR --
"I want a new boat so I'm charging you for another office visit."


"We have some good news and some bad news."
Really Means
"The good news is, I'm going to buy that new boat. The bad news is, you're going to pay for it."


"Let's see how it develops."
Really Means
"Maybe in a few days it will turn into something that can be cured."


"Let me schedule you for some tests."
Really Means
" I have a forty percent interest in the lab."


"I'd like to have my associate look at you."
Really Means
"He's going through a messy divorce and owes me a bundle."


"I'd like to prescribe a new drug."
Really Means
"I'm writing a paper and would like to use you for a guinea pig."


"Call the office if it doesn't clear up in a week."
Really Means
"I don't know what it is. Maybe it'll go away by itself."
-- OR --
"I've never seen anything so disgusting. Thank Goodness I'm off next week."


"That's quite a nasty looking wound."
Really Means
"I think I'm going to throw up."


"This may smart a little."
Really Means
"Last week two patients bit off their tongues."


"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we ...?"
Really Means
"I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are you here?"


"This should fix you up."
Really Means
"The drug company slipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff."


"Everything seems to be normal."
Really Means
"Rats! I guess I can't buy that new boat after all."


"I'd like to run some more tests."
Really Means
"I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one."


"Do you suppose all this stress could be affecting your nerves?"
Really Means
"You're crazier'n an outhouse rat. Now, if I can only find a shrink who'll split the fees with me ..."


"There is a lot of that going around."
Really Means
"Good Lord! That's the third one this week. I'd better learn something about this."

Senior Exercise Programs

Physical exercise is good for you. We know that we should do it daily, but our bodies don't want us to do too much, so here's a program of strenuous activities that do not require any actual exercise:

01) Beating around the bush
02) Jumping to conclusions
03) Climbing the walls
04) Swallowing your pride
05) Passing the buck
06) Throwing your weight around
07) Dragging your heels
08) Pushing your luck
09) Making mountains out of molehills
10) Hitting the nail on the head
11) Wading through paperwork
12) Bending over backwards
13) Jumping on the bandwagon
14) Balancing the books
15) Running around in circles
16) Eating crow
17) Tooting your own horn
18) Climbing the ladder of success
19) Pulling out all the stops
20) Adding fuel to the fire
21) Opening a can of worms
22) Putting your foot in your mouth
23) Starting the ball rolling
24) Going over the edge
25) Picking up the pieces


Whew! That's a workout! Now sit down and...


26) Exercise caution.

Trivia For January 18, 2010

In 1911, the first landing of an aircraft on a ship took place when pilot Lt. Eugene B. Ely brought his 50-hp Curtiss pusher biplane in for a safe landing on a 119-ft wooden platform attached the deck of the U.S.S. Pennsylvania in San Francisco Harbor.

The plane's landing gear was provided with hooks adapted to catch ropes secured by sandbags stretched across the landing platform to stop the plane upon landing. Improved versions of this ingenious arrangement were to become standard equipment on aircraft carriers.

After spending an hour aboard the ship, he took off and flew back to his hangar near San Francisco. The previous November he first made a take off from a ship. These flights demonstrated the adaptability of aircraft to ship-board operations.

A Little Tolerance Please

The answer is "Tolerance". What's the Question?

Q: What do you get when you give growth hormones to ants?

God's Names

The Sunday School teacher asks, "What are some of the names used for the Supreme Being?"

"God."

"Very good. Another?"
"Lord."

"Yes! Anyone Else?"
"Yahweh." "Jehovah." "King of Kings."

"Excellent! Little Johnny, can you think of any?"
I know three: Art, Harold, and Andy."

Can you explain those?"
"Oh, yes. You know, 'Our Father, Art, in heaven, Harold be thy name.'"

"Hmmm ..."

"And I just heard a hymn: 'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me'!"

Trivia For January 14, 2010

13th day of 2010 with 352 to follow.

Holidays for Today: International Skeptics Day* Make Your Dream Come True Day*
Old New Year's Eve (Russia)* Liberation Day (Togo)* Tyvendedagen (Norway)*
St. Knut's Day - In Sweden, January 13 is the traditional day to end Christmas festivities. Children strip the tree of decorations, after which they are free to "plunder" treats left on the tree. Finally, everyone "dances" the tree out the door!
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1628 Charles Perrault, France, lawyer/writer (Mother Goose)
1832 Horatio Alger Jr, Chelsea Mass., minister/ author (Lost at Sea, Work & Win)
1885 Alfred Fuller, Canadian businessman, CEO (Fuller Brush Man)
1893 Clarke Ashton Smith, Long Valley CA, sci-fi author (Lost Worlds, Genius Loci)
1931 Charles Nelson Reilly New York City NY, actor (Match Game, Ghost & Mrs Muir)
1933 Ron[ald Joseph] Goulart, Berkeley CA, sci-fi author (Deadwalk, Plunder, Cheap Thrills)
1945 [Eileen] Joy[ce] Chant [Rutter], UK, sci-fi author (High Kings, House of Kendreth)
1961 Julia Louis-Dreyfus, New York City NY, actress/ comedian (SNL, Seinfeld, Day by Day, Soul Man, Troll)
1966 Patrick Dempsey, Lewiston ME, actor (Mike-Fast Times, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Can't Buy Me Love, Face The Music)
1972 Nicole Eggert, Glendale CA, actress (Charles in Charge, Chrissie-TJ Hooker, Summer-Baywatch)
1977 Orlando Bloom, English actor (Legolas/ Lord of The Rings; Will Turner/ Pirates of the Caribbean)
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Only the mediocre are always at their best. - Jean Giraudoux
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1733 James Oglethorpe and 130 colonists arrive in Charleston, South Carolina.
1842 Dr. William Brydon, a surgeon in the British Army during the First Anglo-Afghan War, becomes famous for being the sole survivor of an army of 16,500 when he reaches the safety of a garrison in Jalalabad.
1854 First U.S. patent for an accordion was issued to Anthony Faas of Philadephia. PA.
1863 Thomas Crapper pioneers one-piece pedestal flushing toilet.
1930 "Mickey Mouse" comic strip first appears.
1942 Henry Ford patents a method of constructing plastic auto bodies, which are 30% lighter than regular cars..
1957 Wham-O Company developed the first frisbee.
1968 Johnny Cash performs live at Folsom Prison
1982 Shortly after takeoff, Air Florida Flight 90 737 jet crashes into Washington, DC's 14th Street Bridge and falls into the Potomac River, killing 78 including four motorists. Coincidentally, a Washington DC Metro Rail train is derailed, killing 3 people.
1993 Space Shuttle program: Endeavour heads for space for the third time as STS-54 launches from the Kennedy Space Center.
1998 CBS pays $4 billion to televise AFC (American Football Conference) games for 8-years..
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Infamous Last Words

Infamous Last Words. . .

~ I'll get a world record for this.
~ It's fireproof.
~ He's probably just hibernating.
~ I'm making a citizen's arrest.
~ So, you're a cannibal.
~ Are you sure the power is off?
~ Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?
~ I've seen this done on TV.
~ These are the good kind of mushrooms.
~ Let it down slowly.
~ Rat poison only kills rats.
~ Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.
~ It's strong enough for both of us.
~ This doesn't taste right.
~ Nice doggie.
~ I've done this before.
~ Well, we've made it this far.
~ That's odd.
~ Don't be so superstitious.

Trivia For January 13, 2010

Holidays for Today: Ratification Day* Dress Up Your Pet Day* Take a Missionary to Lunch Day* National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day*
January is also National Mail Order Gardening Month!
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1875 Albert Schweitzer, Alsatian doctor/humanitarian/organist (Nobel 1952)
1886 Hugh Lofting, English/American writer & illustrator (Dr Dolittle)
1890 Dr. Rolla Neil Harger, invented machine to test amount of alcohol in breath
1907 Derek Richter, British neurochemist (Aspects of learning & memory)
1919 Andy Rooney, Albany NY, CBS news correspondent (60 Minutes)
1941 [Dorothy] Faye Dunaway, Bascom FL, actress (Chinatown, Bonnie & Clyde)
1943 Shannon W Lucid, China (Baptist missionary parents there)/American, astronaut/biochemist (6 STS flights, 1 prolonged stay on Mir Spacestation)
1969 Justin Bateman, Rye NY, actor (Arrested Development, The Kingdom, Hancock, The Invention of Lying)
1986 Gary Brolsma, Saddlebrook NJ, internet celebrity (Numa Numa Dance)
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First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. - Epictetus
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1784 Ratification Day: Revolutionary War ends; Congress ratifies the Treaty of Paris
1794 Dr Jessee Bennet of Edom VA, performs first successful Cesarean section operation on his wife.
1914 Henry Ford introduces assembly line for T-Fords, reducing assembly time of a car from over 12 hours to 93 minutes.
1943 Franklin D. Roosevelt becomes the first President of the United States to travel via airplane while in office when he travels from Miami, Florida to Morocco to meet with Winston Churchill.
1952 "Today Show" premieres with Dave Garroway & Jack Lescoulie on NBC-TV.
1954 The Hudson Motor Car Company merges with Nash-Kelvinator Corporation forming the American Motors Corporation.
1967 The Human Be-In, part of the counterculture of the 1960s, takes place in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park with between 20,000 to 30,000 people attending, and launching the Summer of Love.
1972 "Sanford & Son" starring Redd Foxx premieres on NBC TV
1973 Super Bowl VII: The Miami Dolphins defeat the Washington Redskins. The Dolphins become the first NFL team to go undefeated in a season.
2005 Landing of the Huygens probe on Saturn's moon Titan.
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That's No Bull

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning."

Trivia For January 12, 2010

Holidays for Today: National Pharmacist Day* National Marzipan Day* Zanzibar Revolution Day (Tanzania)*
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1729 - Edmund Burke, British author (Philosophy and Inquiry)
1737 - John Hancock, patriot (1st to sign Declaration of Independence)
1876 - Jack London, San Francisco, author (Call of the Wild, White Fang, Sea Wolf)
1899 - Paul H Muller, Swiss chemist (DDT-Nobel 1948)
1905 - Tex Ritter, Texas, country singer (5 Star Jubilee, Wayward Wind)
1946 - Cynthia Robinson, Sacramento CA, musician (trumpet/Sly & the Family Stone)
1947 - Tom Dempsey, Milwaukee WI, NFL football player
1951 - Kirstie Alley, Wichita KS, actress (Star Trek II, Cheers-Rebecca)
1951 - Rush Limbaugh, Girardeau MO, radio personality & political commentator
1952 - Walter Mosley, Los Angeles CA, author crime fiction (Easy Rawlins series)
1954 - Howard Stern, Roosevelt NY, "Radio's Bad Boy"
1973 - Dan Haseltine, IL, singer/ musician (Jars of Clay)
1974 - Melanie Jayne Chisholm, "Sporty Spice", vocalist (Spice Girls)
1978 - Jeremy Camp, Lafayette IN, contemporary Christian musician (Stay, Carried Me, Restored)
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Among a people generally corrupt liberty cannot long exist. - Edmund Burke
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1773 - First US public museum established in Charleston, SC.
1820 - Royal Astronomical Society founded in England.
1839 - Anthracite coal first used to smelt iron, Mauch Chunk, PA.
1915 - Rocky Mountain National Park is formed by an act of U.S. Congress.
1932 - Hattie W. Caraway becomes the first woman elected to the United States Senate.
1966 - "Batman" with Adam West and Burt Ward premieres on ABC TV.
1969 - Super Bowl III: New York Jets of the American Football League defeat the heavily favored Baltimore Colts of the National Football League 16–7.
1971 - "All in the Family" premieres on CBS featuring 1st toilet flush on TV.
1986 - Congressman Bill Nelson lifts off from Kennedy Space Center aboard Columbia on mission STS-61C as a Mission Specialist.
2004 - The world's largest ocean liner, RMS Queen Mary 2, makes its maiden voyage.
2007 - Comet McNaught reaches perihelion becoming the brightest comet in more than 40 years.
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What Cause Arthritis?

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a subway one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick, and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket.

He opened he opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple of minutes later he asked the priest, "Father what causes arthritis"?

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and contempt for your fellow man."

"Gee whiz, I'll be," uttered the drunk and returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he said turned to the man and apologized.

"I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't, father. I was just reading in the paper that the Pope has arthritis.. "

Trivia for January 11, 2010

Holidays for Today: National Clean Off Your Desk Day* Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend's Day* Plough Monday (UK)*
Independence Day (Morocco)* National Unity Day (Nepal)
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1755 – Alexander Hamilton, 1st United States Secretary of the Treasury
1807 – Ezra Cornell, Westchester Co. NY, businessman and university founder (Cornell University)
1814 – James Paget, British surgeon and pathologist (Paget's Disease, founder modern pathology, discovered parasite causing trichinosis)
1870 – Alexander Stirling Calder, Philadelphia PA, sculptor (Washington as President)
1885 – Jack Hoxie, Kingfisher Creek OK, actor, rodeo performer (Lightning Bryce, Where Is This West?)
1895 – Laurens Hammond, Evanston IL, inventor tonewheel generator; founder Hammond Organ Co. (patents for an automobile transmission, a barometer, a "tickless" clock, guided missile controls)
1923 – Carroll Shelby, Leesburg TX, race car driver, automobile designer and businessman (Cobra cars)
1923 – Jerome Bixby, Los Angeles, writer/ editor (Planet Stories; Star Trek "Mirror, Mirror" & "Requiem for Methuselah" & "Day of the Dove"; Fantastic Voyage)
1930 – Rod Taylor, Australian-born American actor (The Time Machine, Oregon Trail, Twilight Zone)
1946 – Naomi Judd, Ashland KY, singer (The Judds)
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1569 – First recorded lottery in England.
1759 – In Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the first American life insurance company is incorporated.
1787 – William Herschel discovers Titania and Oberon, two moons of Uranus.
1805 – The Michigan Territory is created.
1878 – Milk is first delivered in bottles.
1908 – Grand Canyon National Monument is created.
1922 – First use of insulin to treat diabetes in a human patient.
1935 – Amelia Earhart is the first woman to fly solo from Hawaii to California.
1943 – World War II: The United States and United Kingdom give up territorial rights in China.
1949 – First recorded case of snowfall in Los Angeles, California.
1964 – US Surgeon General Dr. Luther Leonidas Terry, M.D., publishes a report saying that smoking may be hazardous to health. It is the first such statement ever made by the U.S. government.
1972 – East Pakistan renames itself Bangladesh.
1986 – The Gateway Bridge, Brisbane in Queensland, Australia is officially opened.
1996 – Space Shuttle program: STS-72 launches from the Kennedy Space Center marking the start of the 74th Space Shuttle mission and the 10th flight of Endeavour.
2007 – JK Rowling completes the 7th novel in the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
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Sherlock Holmes Joke

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

Trivia For January 8, 2010

Holidays for Today: National Joygerm Day* National English Toffee Day* Bubble Bath Day* Male Watchers Day
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TODAY IN BIRTHDAYS:
1891 Walther Bothe, Germany, subatomic particle physicist (Nobel 1954 - coincidence circuit)
1926 Soupy Sales [Milton Hines], North Carolina, comedian (Soupy Sales Show)
1935 Elvis Aaron Presley, Tupelo MS, rocker (Blue Suede Shoes, Hounddog)
1942 Stephen Hawking, English physicist and author (Black Holes & Baby Universes)
1944 Terry Brooks, Sterling IL, sci-fi author (Word & Void, Sword of Shannara, Magic Kingdom of Landover)
1947 David Bowie [Jones], London, singer/actor (Labyrinth, Major Tom, Ziggy Stardust)
1965 Michelle Forbes, Austin TX, actress (Lt. Roe/STNG; Admiral Helena Cain/Battlestar Galactica; True Blood; Kalifornia)
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1790 George Washington delivers first "State of the Union" address in New York City.
1835 The United States national debt is 0 for the only time.
1838 Alfred Vail demonstrates a telegraph using dots and dashes (forerunner of Morse code).
1963 Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa is exhibited in the United States for the first time at the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C.
1964 President Lyndon B Johnson declares "War on Poverty" in United States.
1993 Elvis Presley Commemorative Postage Stamp goes on sale.
2004 RMS Queen Mary 2, the largest passenger ship ever built.
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updated daily jokes

updated daily jokes

Welcome to Jokes and Trivia!

This blog will have posts with anything from jokes, quotes, and trivia most every weekday.

Not only will it be updated with daily jokes, but there might be a smattering of the days holidays - both traditional and bizarre, plus notable birthdays and/or historical events for the day.

Just a little bit of this and that, humorous or trivial!