A Sesame Street Bux

A young man gets a job as a school bus driver. He shows up for work and finds that his bus is decorated inside and out with pictures of Bert, Ernie, Big Bird and Cookie Monster.

He arrives at his first stop, opens the doors and looks at his first passengers. There he sees a mother and her two daughters. The mother says, "You're new aren't you?"

"Yes ma'am, I am."

"Well, I'd like you to meet my two little girls. This is Patty Sue and this is Patty Anne."

He simply can't believe his eyes - these kids are big.
*Really* big. I mean, they're *FAT*.

The mother says, "Now Patty Sue and Patty Anne are big for their age ..."

The driver manages to keep his tongue under control and replies "Yes, I can see that."

The mother continues, "I'd like you to give my two little girls individual seats of their own on your bus."

"No problem." The two girls squeeze down the aisle and find seats. The driver closes the door and drives to the next stop.

He opens the doors and he sees a mother and her young son.
The mother says, "You're new, aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am, I am."

"Well, I'd like you to meet my son Ross. He's very special."

The driver looks down at what can only be described as the nerd to end all nerds. The boy wears thick glasses with white tape holding them together. He has pencils in his pocket protector. He has the short-sleeved dress shirt. He has the white socks and sandals.

"Yes, I can see that."

"My Ross is very special. I want you to give him a very special seat on your bus. I want him to sit up front every day."

"No problem," and Ross proudly seats himself right up front.

The bus goes to the next stop, where there's a mother and another little boy. The mother says, (you guessed it) "You're new aren't you?"

"Yes, ma'am, I am."

"Well, my name is Mrs. Cleese, and this is my son Lester."

Lester is a pitiful sight to behold. The poor little guy obviously has foot problems. He's limping painfully.

The mother continues, "Lester has problems with his feet."

The driver nods sympathetically. "Yes, I can see that."

"I want you to help Lester as he gets on and off your bus every day, so that he won't trip and fall."

"No problem." Lester limps to his seat. As he closes the bus doors and drives away, the driver sees in his rear view mirror that Lester has removed his shoes and socks and is picking at the largest, most grotesque bunions he has ever seen. It's disgusting, the way that Lester picks
at his feet.

Our driver shudders and drives on. He delivers the kids to school and returns to the bus barn. He is met by his supervisor.

"How did your first day go?"

"How do you think? I have two obese Pattys, special Ross and Lester Cleese picks his bunions on a Sesame Street bus!"